Relatable College Advice from ‘New Girl’

With schools back in session and summer officially over, we’re getting our mindsets right with New Girl. Here are the best back-to-school advice & quotes for college students from Fox’s hit show!

We are officially back to school, and things can get tough… especially in college. There’s a lot to contemplate, from living with roommates to balancing school work with your social life. Thankfully, your favorite show has plenty of subtle advice for college students. Nick, Jess, Schmidt, and Winston provide some colorful commentary throughout New Girl’s seven seasons that can double as advice for taking on the world in college. Whether you go to a Big Ten school or a local community college, these 9 New Girl quotes will help get you through. 

  • “Because people are the worst.” – Jessica Day

People are the worst; that’s the first thing you have to take in when entering any new situation. Sadly, college is no exception. People are just the worst, but you will find friends that aren’t the worst, and spending time with those people makes college ten times better. It takes time, but you’ll find them, just like how Jess found Nick, Schmidt, Winston, and Coach. 

  • “Nick, it’s not that hard, man. Just sit down and write. You ain’t Hemingway.” – Winston Bishop

Sit down and write! Get that homework done. No Hemingway’s here, just a couple of college students trying to get by. Take Winston’s advice here and sit down and write it! Getting the boring stuff out of the way to make time for the fun stuff, that’s what college is all about. 

  • “It’s perfectly fine to watch TV all day.” – Nick Miller

It is totally acceptable to watch TV all day. I think what Nick is suggesting here is that mental health days are essential, and sometimes you just need to take a day to yourself and sit down and re-watch Glee for hours on end. And that is a-okay, Nick Miller said so. College can be many things at once with no breaks, so no shame in taking a few days off. 

  • “I am not a successful adult. I don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.” – Nick Miller

What is a successful adult? Asking for a friend. 

Really though, taking care of yourself is a big deal that we often forget about in the hustle and bustle of college life. Eating vegetables (probably not the ones from the dining halls) is a start. Nick Miller is the king of not taking care of yourself, so learn from him and give yourself enough time for rest. 

  • “I’m only attracted to guys who are afraid of success and think someone famous stole their idea.” – Jessica Day

Aren’t we all? I mean, they’re so common nowadays. Dating in college is tricky, especially when everyone thinks someone famous stole their idea! This isn’t so much advice from Jess as it is a relatable statement regarding relationships, but hey, you’ll find the one! Or maybe you won’t. What’s the rush? Jess didn’t meet Nick until her 30s! You’ve got time. 

  • “I’m probably fine. But I also might be dead.” – Jessica Day

This quote feels like it was made for students during the pandemic. The workload can be a lot, regardless of what you’re studying. From GenEds, labs, and long lectures, college workloads are no joke. Most students will describe their emotional status in similar words to Jess. The advice? Check-in with friends during a busy week; everyone is probably feeling the same way you are. 

  • “You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Science.” – Nick Miller

Words to live by. Treat your wounds with their appropriate substance. Broken heart? Failing a class? Have a drink to treat the wound; just don’t get carried away! 

  • “It’s the freakin’ weekend.” – Schmidt 

Take this quote from Schmidt as an endorsement for partying on the weekends. That’s the whole point of college, right? Well, kind of! Weekends are for fun. 

Enjoy the weekends before Sunday night comes back around. 

  • “Can I get an alcohol?” – Nick Miller

Now this one doesn’t really qualify as advice, but have a drink (if you’re legal, of course) for Nick and unwind. Don’t forget to enjoy yourself; finding a balance of work and play is difficult at first, but you’ll get the hang of it. Hey, working at a bar seemed to work for Nick, didn’t it? Maybe try that!

Now, if this “advice” didn’t do much for you, I hope the refresher on iconic New Girl quotes did. College, really school in general, is a lot of work and stress, but it’s also fun. No one balances work and play better than the characters on New Girl. When in doubt, binge-watch all seven seasons to solve all your problems. 

About the Author

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Hope Burley

Hope Burley is a senior at Penn State University studying Telecommunications with a focus in television production.