Our Favorite Phoebe Buffay Quotes From ‘Friends’!

In honor of Lisa Kudrow’s birthday, we’re sharing the best of one of her most iconic characters, Phoebe Buffay! 

Lisa Kudrow is famous for her many iconic roles throughout the entertainment industry, but one of her most beloved and prized characters will forever be Phoebe Buffay from Friends. Nurturing, spacey, spiritual, grounding, Phoebe brings some spice and laughter to her New York City friend’s lives. Quite a unique individual, Phoebe is best known for singing smelly cat at Central Perk, having alter egos like Regina Phalange, and of course for her iconic quotes. Below is a list of the best Phoebe quotes!

“She’s your lobster… C’mon, you guys. It’s a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, you know, holding claws.”

Leave it to Phoebe, the romance expert, to explain how lobster mating works and apply it to her friends.

“Meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock”

When Phoebe tells Mike she’s going to change her name when they get married, we don’t think that this is what he imagined. This quote explains Phoebe’s character very well. She will go with the flow, and if her heart desires her to change her name to one as unique as this, it’s going to happen!

“Eye contact? I hope you were using protection.”

This line is easily one of Phoebe’s funniest zingers.

“I don’t even have a ‘pla-.’”

While trying to figure out their lives, Phoebe retorts to Rachel and Monica that she doesn’t even have the first half of a plan for life.

“If you want to receive emails about my upcoming shows, please give me money so I can buy a computer.”

In her early days, performing at Central Perk, Phoebe’s not afraid to let the crowd know that she means business.

“I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”

Pheebs, as the gang calls her, will never settle or let anyone tell her what to do. Even when Chandler needs her help. Next time you’re being sucked into something you don’t want to do, just give this line a try!

“You love divorce so much, you’re probably gonna marry it – and then it won’t work out, so you’re gonna have to divorce it.”

Any scene between Phoebe and Ross will leave us in a fit of laughter. Phoebe will always call out her friends, and this quote is one of her funniest jabs at Ross.

“They don’t know that we know they know we know.”

The entire friends fan club has this line – and episode – memorized, knowing exactly what it means. When Monica and Chandler are still trying to keep their relationship quiet, Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey decide to mess with the couple.

“I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime and their corpses grotesquely dressed in, like, tinsel and twinkly lights.”

We love Phoebe’s loving heart. She will do anything to protect all living things, including Christmas trees.

“Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.”

Talk about a good pick up line. We’re going to use this one next time too! Thanks Phoebe!

“One really does have a stick up one’s ass. Doesn’t one?”

If you need a new comeback line, this Phoebe quote is full proof. You can always thank Phoebe for saving the day with her sarcasm.